Unicorns - by Colette

high in the clouds live a fun loving tribe of unicorns living a unicorn life they love their lifes it is full of pride and one little guy has a unicorn wife she dances and prances and fixes the potties of all the unicorn hotties and notties

Fingies - by Colette

popcorn is a wonderful treat but dont eat popcorn with your feet its disgusting and yucky and full of toe nails if eaten with feet, it will just make you wail but try it with fingies and youll see what i mean fingies in popcorn is a yum yummy dream

siblings

Maybe Monday was a wee thing

Barely two feet tall.

She often had bad luck deciding

When and how to fall.


Surely Sunday was a tall girl

Loud and without care.

To the sky she turned her curls

And yelled into the air.


Probably Never was more clever

Than his sisters two.

He knew far more about whatever

Things they thought they knew.

recycled economics

I want to marry in a bank
With vaults of chocolate fruit
And green ceilings blinking gold.
I'll move in sweepy turns
Around the soft and tiled floor.
You were married in a bank.
The guests ate shiny beads.
Smalls sacks of cheese were passed around
You looked like coffee dipped in cream
With ivyed lace adrift your back.
He was dressed in paper shoes
That schlipped and schlopped and never tore.
You danced in bleepy weepy turns
Together in your bank at night.
She looked at him with concrete eyes.
He shook the hands of all the band.
He caught her eye and kicked the wind,
Their mouths did listen to the end
And never left the vault.
I want to marry in a bank
With vaults of chocolate fruit
And sacks of moneyed honeyed ham
And teller windows washed with juice.
On the walls old bankers words
Will fold advice in cursive weeds
Put trust in us and bank together.

Teething

How many times do I have to tell you.
I REALLY don’t like to brush my teeth.
The swishing and frothing and overall washing
Make me want to hide beneath
A towel, the sink, the tub, some soap.
I hate the brushing.
HOW WILL I COPE!

Why can’t I take a pill and then
All of me teeth will be clean instead
Of brushing and swishing and all of that frothing.
I’m sick of it YES?
ENOUGH of the swabbing.
My gums…..the color wine?
FINE!

I don’t need to floss
Because I am the boss.
How many times do I have to tell you.
I REALLY DON’T LIKE TO BRUSH MY TEETH.

Alright. Okay. I give up. You win.
Just give me that brush. I’ll give it a spin
Round my mouth. I’ll see if it works.
Lets see if it really won’t make things worse.
I’ll swish and I’ll scrub.
I’ll rinse out the schmutz.
I bet my WHOLE life it won’t do the job.
See I’ve done it. I brushed.
I did what you asked.
I cleaned my teeth and the experience was….

Quite pleasing and…..nice?
Oh for shame, here we go.
I’ll have to admit
I should not have said no.
That toothpaste…..splendid!
The mouthwash is smashing!
The toothbrush!
Why…it felt like an angel were brushing!

Just to be clear…
I was joking before.
What? Me fear?
Don’t be silly! I adore
The brushing of teeth
Before bed. Its no chore!
Not at all, I dare say.
It’s a joy, to be sure!

Goodnight my gums.
Goodnight my teeth.
Till tomorrow my friends….
Stay healthy and clean.

Sleep Forever, Forever Sleep

Wouldn’t it be nice to sleep
forever and a day…..

That’s lots of time to dream of things
that make you smile, like chicken wings
and mashed potatoes, chocolate tarts
bubble baths, a good ripe fart.

And think of all the things you could
avoid by sleeping! No more “Would
you kindly take the garbage out?”
Sorry Dad, I’m not allowed.

I’m sleeping now. Can’t you see?
I won’t be done till half past three
on the day that comes behind
“Forever”…That is when I’ll rise
and look about my dusty room
at all the toys untouched, unstrewn.

I’ll think Oh no! What have I done.
I’ve missed my life, I’ve slept through fun.
I’m old and weak and knobby kneed.
I can’t jump rope or climb tall trees!

Dreaming isn’t quite the same
As real life, and so I’ll change
My mind about this sleeping thing.
Instead I’ll stay awake and sing
Forever and an extra day
Wouldn’t it be nice to…play?

Secrets

Shhhhhhhh don’t tell a soul
No one at all.
I’m serious!
Not even your ma
I’ve got a secret .
It’s dark and mysterious
It’s the secretest ever by far.

You wont tell your friends?
Right? You wont tell your pa?
You wont tell your granny?
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
Fine, I’ll tell you my secret.
Get, ready, get set.
I forgot to wear underpants today.

Puppy Love

If I were a pair of pants, you would be my secret pocket.
If I were an astronaut, you would be my big space rocket.
If I were a coupon book, you would be my frugal saver.
If I were a ball-point pen, you would be my piece of paper.
If I were a telephone, you would be my dial tone.
If I were an ice cream scoop, you would be my sugar cone.
If I were a paperback, you would be my bendy spine.
If I were an epic poem, you would be my faithful rhyme.
If I were a casserole, you would be my nonstick pan.
If I were a beach resort, you would be my sun and sand.
If I were a one-man-band, you would be my tambourine.
If I were a tasty sandwich, you would be my ham between.
If I were a refrigerator, you would be my constant hum.
If I were a foil wrapper, you would be my bubble gum.
If I were a massive jungle, you would be my peaceful shade.
If I were a tiny garden, you would be my digging spade.
If I were a betting man, you would be my hidden ace.
If I were a running man, you would be my winning race.
I am none of these and yet, you remain my favorite pet.

Piper Pooped

Piper pooped a nickel.
Last Sunday, half past noon.
Piper pooped a nickel.
Whatever shall we do!

Give her lots of water
And some oatmeal, extra dense.
Let’s see if deep within her
She is hiding fifty cents.

Naked Philip

Philip with no clothes on
Is a soft and pleasing feller.
Philip with his clothes on
Is a rough and tumble terror.

If you tell him he looks silly
With no clothes on he’ll just smile.
But if you say “Wear pants. It’s chilly!”
He’ll kick you ‘round the shins awhile.

My Lizard

A lizard sat upon my wall.
He looked so happy, green and small.
“What scaly thoughts are in your head?”
“I’m thinking of my bike,” he said.
“Your bike?” with shock I did reply.
“I did not know that you could ride
A bicycle. I thought you crawled
Across the ground and right up walls.”
“Yes well, you are mistaken, lad.”
My lizard said, a wee bit mad.
And from behind my potted plant,
He took a bicycle and sat
Upon its teeny tiny seat
And peddled off with lizard feet.

K is for Knuts

Sometimes I go completely crazy.
Utterly, overly, amazingly nuts.
Sheerly, clearly, weirdly spacy.
I go so far as to hate my own guts.

On those days
I try to laze
About the house
But there is no doubt
That instead Id prefer
To break open my chair
And turn it inside out!

My mom tries to stop me
”Please honey relax.
Sit here for a bit
And have a small snack.”
"Oh phooey!" I say
As I spit out a chunk.
"I can’t eat a thing.
I’m too crazy!" KERPLUNK

My heads underwater.
I wish I were farther
Then here, then there.
Life just isn’t fair.
My homework's not done.
This game is no fun.
My friends are away.
There’s no one to play.
With me and I’m just going crazy!

Breathe......

It’s quiet now.
I’ve closed my eyes.
The dark is overwhelming.
I like it. It’s nice
To just sit and wait.
I think its really helping.

I don’t have to shout.
I don’t have to jump.
I don’t have to kick the molding.

Cause now I can see
It’s not just me.
Everyone's a little bit crazy.

If

If I were an English teacher
I’d wear a suit and shave
And teach about
Great books and shout
When children misbehaved.

I’d speak of Faulkner
Ever fonder
Of great Hemingway
And Twain.

I’d give long lectures
On plays by Shakespeare
And tell them
Please don’t read in rain.

From my desk
I’d hand out papers
On the books they had just read.

I’d have to conceal
That I use MY books
As pillows for my head.

If I were a lunch lady
I’d wear hairnets with a flair.
I’d serve up slop and who-knows-what
With utmost grace and care.

I’d say “Hey Trevor. How’s the weather?
Try the meatloaf. It’s divine.”
“Well hello Mindy. Oh…it’s Cindy?
Forgive me. Here’s some pie.”

I’d smile and nod to every child
In line to get their grub.
I’d not let on that this here spoon
Is used to flatten bugs.

If I were a lunch lady
I’d look around the room
And spy a dirty boy named Philip
Eating in the gloom.

No one would go near him.
His stinks have stinks which stink.
I’d grab him by the squiffy neck
And wash him in the sink.

He’d return triumphant to his seat
And all the girls would swoon.
They’d say “Why Philip, you’re so clean!”
Please walk me home from school?”

If I were a lunch lady
I’d wait for every child
To finish their slop and who-knows-what
Then I’d rest awhile.

I would start to scheme and think
Of what to make them eat.
Maybe broccoli malts to drink
And blueberry fries, whole wheat.

I wouldn’t forget to add a side
Of healthy chocolate bisque.
Bad nutrition is something I
As lunch lady just would not risk.

If I were a lunch lady
And all was said and done
And everyone had gone away
And my me-time had begun.

I’d throw a mat upon the floor
And sit and stretch my toeses
I’d swing my great big limbs around
And perform great yoga poses.

Girls

pretty girls
wear strings of pearls
and set their hair in golden curls.
they tend to laugh
on your behalf
and live their lives as small bar graphs..

silly girls
wear ostrich furs
and like to ride the tilt-a-whirl.
they tend to eat
popcorn and meat
and kick bees nests with slippered feet.


lonely girls

live not in swirls

their dreams against the wind unfurl.

They tend to yawn

And seem withdrawn

And are not wanted til they’re gone.

Geography

When Alice springs
And Victoria falls
Somehow they meet in the middle.
The air in between
Gets smaller and seems
Quite hot when the girls give a wiggle.

Now Alice is weary
And ready for bed.
She much prefers books over boys.
The thoughts in her head
Go squishy and then
She flops to the ground like a toy.

Victoria draws
Sweet blood on her lips.
Her date has been waiting for hours.
Soon she will be,
Finally, happily,
Knee deep in weak whiskey sours.

As Alice springs
Victoria falls.
Their bodies exist quite remotely.
They seem to insist
Upon the truth they resist.
The two miss each other completely.

Frying Granny In A Pan

When we found granny in the pan
She spat and kicked and then…KABLAM!
I’m not sure that was quite the plan.
Then again, there was that man…
I believe he said his name was Stan.
He left rather quickly in a van
Shouting “You said ‘couldn’t’. I said CAN!”
If he stayed he’d be whipped and tanned.
My grandma leads an angry clan.
They don’t put up with fried flim-flam.
As gran would say “No Sir. No Ma’am.”
(She was also a fan of small Rodin’s.)
I don’t know why she didn’t slam
A tiny fist into that man
And stop him from using that giant pan
To fry my dear old weird old gran.

Food Fight

ORANGE is a yummy word
It’s O tastes like a sweet
It’s R smells like an onion curl
It’s A like broiled meat
The N is made of cheddar cheese
The G a cold milk shake
And finally the E I eat
Like bits of chocolate cake.

I would never try the letters
All at once mixed up together
For I would rather aim and shoot
Myself than eat a piece of fruit.

Bug Love

Butterfly and Bee went out on a date
Last Tuesday, ‘round about eight.

She had the milkweed, medium rare.
He had the pollen, with nectar to spare.

They chatted and giggled till Wednesday morning.
Their wee bug heads with love thoughts a’swarming.

Butterfly liked little Bee’s manners and tact.
Bee liked the look of her fine thorax.

Bee invited Butterfly to his hive for tea.
Turns out she was pregnant by five thirty.

By Thursday afternoon, all twelve had arrived.
Bee held his larvae and beamed with pride.

This particular species was unique, you see.
They had wings that stung and were called Butterbees.

Come Friday, Butterfly was well again
Having recovered quite quickly, her wingspan regained.

She and Bee taught their brood right away how to fly.
They listened with upright and eager antennae.

On Saturday Butterfly and Bee retired
To their bug hive and, I’m sorry to say, expired.

By Sunday their Butterbees had ventured out on their own
To find dates for themselves and a place to call home.

Butterfly and Bee would be proud to know
That their Butterbees were out conquering the bug world alone.