Puppy Love

If I were a pair of pants, you would be my secret pocket.
If I were an astronaut, you would be my big space rocket.
If I were a coupon book, you would be my frugal saver.
If I were a ball-point pen, you would be my piece of paper.
If I were a telephone, you would be my dial tone.
If I were an ice cream scoop, you would be my sugar cone.
If I were a paperback, you would be my bendy spine.
If I were an epic poem, you would be my faithful rhyme.
If I were a casserole, you would be my nonstick pan.
If I were a beach resort, you would be my sun and sand.
If I were a one-man-band, you would be my tambourine.
If I were a tasty sandwich, you would be my ham between.
If I were a refrigerator, you would be my constant hum.
If I were a foil wrapper, you would be my bubble gum.
If I were a massive jungle, you would be my peaceful shade.
If I were a tiny garden, you would be my digging spade.
If I were a betting man, you would be my hidden ace.
If I were a running man, you would be my winning race.
I am none of these and yet, you remain my favorite pet.